My 2018

It is New Year's Eve 2018 and so a natural time to look back over the year.

This year has been dominated by the death of my dear mother, Heide Wilson (nee Loblich).

Mum (pictured left at my allotment) had appeared in excellent health for most of last year.

Her diagnosis with intestinal cancer, about a year ago, was a great shock. The speed at which the disease took hold was horrifying.

She died in a hospice in Oxford on 20 April 2018 with me and my three brothers at her bedside.

Even now it is hard to write about. I could go on about her life, growing up in war-torn Germany, meeting Dad (who died three years ago), settling in England, her remarkable career in mathematics and her Catholicism.

But it is her unconditional love and great kindness I remember.

I still find it hard to believe she has gone.

It is more than 14 months since I have written a blog; the shock of her loss has something to do with that. I have just not felt like putting fingers to keyboard to write about my life; it's too raw.

I have been working - for a homelessness charity - and that has gone well.

And I've been studying for a Master's in Voluntary Sector Management at a business school in London.

When I last wrote, in Back To School, I indicated I intended to put a lot more effort into my university studies this time round than I did back in the 1980s.

I managed it. It is a tough course but I put my nose to the grindstone and gave it my all, or as close to my all as I could. Mum encouraged me.

Over the academic year, from October 2017-September 2018, I put in 1,360 hours of study - reading text books, writing assignments, attending lectures and action learning sets.

The course is very vocational and useful, covering everything from strategy, diversity and governance to resource management and managing people and quality to organisations, leadership and change, and much, much more.

Oftentimes I found it challenging but managed to get a distinction for the year and, indeed, a distinction in every assignment and exam, except one essay for which I got a merit.

I surprised myself and have decided to do the second year, starting in a couple of weeks from now, to complete the Master's.

Some of my fellow students were just as hardworking as me and even more successful.

Others took my old approach to study and put in far fewer hours. For my part, I was glad I made myself work so hard, filling 13 large notebooks, not just because of my scores, but because I learnt a lot that will help me, and is already helping me, in life.

I am sure Mum would have been proud of my efforts. When I was young I lacked the maturity for study. Now I can do it and have a taste for it.

The year otherwise has been a bit of a blur.

And since the first year of my course finished in September, I have been catching up, sorting out issues and life admin.

I have taken a few photographs during the year, some of which are featured in this blog post.

By October, I felt pretty drained. I was fortunate to be able to work for a week in Bratislava, Slovakia.

A change is as good as a rest, as they say.

Two years ago tonight, I gave up alcohol - the best decision I have ever made.

Somehow it has worked for me. I don't miss drinking at all; it made me foolish.

Yet some friends have fallen away as a result of me not drinking alcohol, others I see less often.

I have taken responsibility for my life.

There is so much to do, so much to live for. I get more done now and am generally happier.

Of course the sadness never leaves me: the sadness of losing my parents; the deep sadness of losing my niece, Emily Wilson.