The Dude Abides

It has been - and still is - a very tough time. I have been in dispute with someone or other almost continually since February 2010: work, train, home and now work again. It is tiresome.

My latest struggle is the toughest yet. Today is Day 60 of the campaign. I feel battle weary and drained of energy.

The trouble with modern industrial strife is that you have to keep going with your job, and do it better than ever, while fighting your case – a full-time job in itself. A wiser fella than I once said that suddenly you find you have two jobs – one defending the existence of the other.

Why these things happen to me is a mystery. I guess sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar eats you.

For legal reasons I can say very little about my current situation.

What I can say is that this is the second time in four years that I have had to fight in this way and it does not seem right.

When you are under the gun, you can easily end up obsessing about the problem, with thoughts of what to do infesting your mind 24/7.

I have had sleepless nights and, when I do sleep, I have nightmares about it.

I draw comfort from my Resilience book, my self-hypnosis tracks – and, of course, my very supportive partner Laura. I also have a big team of advisers who have been wonderful to a man and woman.

All the same, it has been painful and is not doing my health any good at all. I have been suffering from stress-related stomach and leg problems among other medical issues.

Yet, I carry on. Am I wrong?

I am reminded of the Hollywood movie The Big Lebowski in which the lead character The Dude (played by Jeff Bridges) has an extraordinarily bad run of luck: having his rug peed on, his head repeatedly pushed into a toilet, being punched in the face, assaulted by a police chief, having his car stolen and smashed up, being drugged and conned and attacked by sword-wielding nihilists. 

In the main, faced by the lunacy of his foes and friends, he takes it fairly philosophically, allowing life to do its worst and keeping up his 10-pin bowling.

Although I am nothing like this lazy character, I feel like him at the moment and admire his phrase “The Dude Abides”, which he casually utters after surviving impossible odds against him.

I agree that every man - like His Dudeness, Duda, El Dudarino - has his time and place to draw a line in the stand and make a stand against the people who have peed on his rug. 

Mine is now, in my current conflict. 

Yes, indeed, The Dude Abides.